Dreams and America

Book 4 of 2018

Reading usually is a good escape for me, even the heavier reads that feel more real than fictitious. I didn't necessarily feel different about Behold the Dreamers but it struck a chord in reality in a way a book hasn't in awhile.

I was reading on the night of the 2018 State of the Union instead of watching the speech. I found it would be important to read a story by an immigrant, about immigrants, as a form of rebellion against the current administration (which I've decided to refer to as "that man" instead of anything resembling his name or an honorific). Toward the end of the evening, after the speech ended and after I had taken a break to see social media, I read a line on page 299 about a Trump hotel. The gist was one character saying that when he made enough money, he would take everyone to dinner there.

I found myself suddenly weeping.

I wept because of what he said during the speech that night about immigrants and their families. Because of what he has said so many times not just since being president, or running for president, but also the "birther" narrative he trumpeted in 2011, and the shady and racist real estate dealings he engaged in over the course of his career.

I wept because this book is about a family truly trying to do their best in attaining the American Dream. Sure, they were not perfect. The husband and father, slightly misogynistic and selfish. The wife, sometimes too gossipy for her own good. But he was also hard-working and loyal; she was also smart and courageous. They were working their way up to their dreams, but the collapse of the American economy, combined with the inherent privilege of his employer, and layers and layers of fear associated with being honest with the wrong people, slowly knocked them back down.

And it shouldn't have been that hard.

The story took place in the late 20-oughts, right before and in the aftermath of the 2008 recession. Any time has been hard for immigrants in America, but economic issues exacerbate problems; and then I couldn't escape the thought of how this family would feel 10 years later, in even a better economy.

This book was powerful, multi-layered and complex. No one character was wholly good or wholly evil, but a combination of forces, choices, and the systemic structures meant to prop the privileged and knock the oppressed, made the difference between the characters' abilities to live into their dreams or not.

I have many earmarks and maybe they'll appear here one day. For now, I recommend this book, and all of its emotion, and for us to do whatever we can to stop the train of nationalism and racism from destroying more dreams.

~MJ 

Kicking of 2018: Reading & New Year's Revelations

Book 1 of 2018

Starting 2018, I am feeling renewed in a way that I haven't felt for  a new years in a long time. This sense of renewal is more about energy and reflective motivation than about positivity, but I am slowly instituting some changes in my 1) home-space, 2) eating habits, 3) and reading. I am tending toward the "slow and steady" wins the race mindset with all three, knowing that dramatic shifts in behavior don't stick for me; still, I also think some of the slowness is related to a reluctance to behave differently. So, that's a funky balance to take on, but I do feel like continuously improving my effectiveness will make a difference.

To that end, I have been choosing to read a little more often - not just at bedtime (my routine) but instead of watching something on Netflix/Hulu/HBO/Prime, and more deliberately when I have extra moments. I also felt like reflecting more often on my reading and since we know that this has been an inconsistent endeavor previously, so I'm not trying to go all-out. What would it be like to blog once monthly about the month's books and reading-related remarks? Let's see.

This month, I have so far read three books and am about halfway through my fourth book of 2018. This is not a faster pace than last year, but what's different is: last January, I read one solid novel, a short non-fiction essay book, and listened to 2 audio books. This year's books so far have all been novels and I think this represents more physical reading time (that's not to say last January wasn't legitimate; it just reflected different priorities). Also, the only books I've reached for this month are female authors (the fourth book is written a woman of color, too). I think it's my way of saying fuck the patriarchy in the era of Trump at it's most extreme, and also a grasp at something that feels familiar and affirming at it's least.

Book 2 of 2018

In my renewed reading drive, I am thinking about a few things:

1) What would it be like to read 3-4 books every month?
2) Reading communities are CLUTCH for both inspiration and joy.
3) I need another bookshelf.

1: Reading goals should be the floor, not the ceiling

I mentioned this in my end-of-year post in 2017 - I hit my 30 book goal and then couldn't invigorate myself to commit to a 31st+ book. To be clear, that was fine, but left me wondering about how I see my yearly goals. I have read between 30-34 books consistently for a few years now, and I wonder if setting that bar has left me more complacent than motivated?

So, as I've thought about chunking my goal to have pace setting at 3-4 books/month, I realized I could likely get in an additional 10-18 books. I also have noted to myself: doing this takes more physical reading time but it also should not be a stressor. A floor of 30 books is what I know is manageable - and this year, how much farther can I push my ceiling?

2: Other readers = great people.

I've always had people in my life that I can talk about books with, but this year I'm really thinking about how my circles both in real life and online can aid in my reading inspirations and joy. Having a couple of friends at work who love Goodreads and a couple of other friends who are doing Book of the Month has added to our conversations and opened new connections.

I also randomly joined Buzzfeed's Page Turners facebook group a couple of weeks ago. I didn't have expectations, but I have been far from disappointed. Each day, I find myself reading through the posts and finding interesting ponderings about books and also responding to posts without fear. It's probably the only social media community I'm a part of where I am mostly anonymous, but involved, and where I am not nervous about political arguments or creepers. Maybe naively, but I'm finding it to be a great corner of the internet.

Knowing what I already know about reading communities, what about really getting going on the "Brene and Beer" happy hour at work (aka a little book club and libations)? What about starting a book exchange among my work friends (or others?) to generate new reading ideas and community?

3: The intersection of my space & my reading life

I really want my home space to be functional, neat and cozy. I am mostly settled in to my new place, but still need to get some boxes unpacked / stored, and some systems in place for keeping things tidy. One of the 5 unpacked boxes is full of books. I have the space in my living room to add another bookshelf, and I actually think it will also add an efficiency and decor to the space.

I had gotten rid of a bookshelf in Tulsa and bought a different one for Denver but didn't have room for anything more in my last apartment - I used a built in shelf in my closet and one in my kitchen for books, but neither were fully adequate. In getting a bigger apartment, I did invest in an additional bookshelf in October, which is up and living its best life. BUT I still have this box of books to find a home for.

I found a great Ladder Bookshelf on Amazon and it's in my cart. Ordering it on payday.

I was already envisioning my space projects this weekend - organizing my closet, unpacking the 5 boxes and deciding what's next for the items (throw out, donate, find a space @ home), and getting my luggage out of my bedroom and into my closet. Easy. The bookshelf has thrown a spark into that fire and also given me a timeline. If I order the bookshelf on payday, it should arrive on the weekend to be built.

Seeing books in a bookstore or library relieves stress and brings me joy - so adding this extra shelf feels right.

Book 3 of 2018

So here's to some small-but-hopefully-mighty-changes to my reading life (and beyond) in 2018. There's a lot to shift in my behavior and life in the coming years, but I am taking it one step - one page - at a time.

Check out #mjreadingchallenge2018 on Insta for reflections/reviews on the books so far this year. I'm now off to a few more pages of reading, closet-reorganization, and food prep.

Wish me luck.

Yours in reading,
~MJ