A Way.

You know those lyrics to "My Way," as sung by Frank Sinatra? I think my previous description was missing something.

There's a tinge of regret to the song, isn't there? The idea is that doing it "my way" made life what it was, full of achievements and failures, triumphs and regrets that, in retrospect, seem silly. But the suggestion is that "my way" was the way one went, and there seems an underlying question: was that the best way? Who did I leave behind? What didn't I do?

Clearly, there were other roads to travel: opposing or not-so-opposing choices to be had. Robert Frost didn't write about two diverging paths in the wood for no reason; every day we make choices that carve our path and define us for a lifetime.

Sometimes, those decisions aren't big ones, or very clear ones - but, the culmination of many of these can not only be defining, but hard to change. We obviously can't change where we've traveled, but it's often hard to make decisions to alter the path ahead. There is uncertainty, doubt, and a lack of clarity - we don't know that path as well, so it's hard not only to grasp what it is but how we handle it.

Is it clear by now that I'm at one of those moments in life where it seems completely necessary to stand back and try to see the bigger path picture?
To cringe at what I've done wrong, where I misstepped, and wallow in regret?
To affirm that there is a way to fix the wrongs, to alter the path ahead - all the while longing for the chance to just start over?
Remembering all the signs as clear as day -
Monday morning quarter back at its best.
To be frustrated by what others are and are not doing, saying,
To be stifled by what is out of my control.
To realize, although painfully, that the past cannot be changed
but the future may be harder to change yet.

Fortunately and unfortunately, My Way is the only way I know. Until I teach myself new ways and challenge myself to be better. I can't rely on anyone else to change my path, no matter how much I want them to guide the way. I can accept that the universe has its plan, but that I am a key player in my plan, and only I can make a difference.

Verbalizing, writing, this acceptance is one thing. Finding a way to act on this acceptance, to actually learn from it and close that gap between "my way" and the "best way," is a whole other act in and of itself. I can say I am committed to bettering myself, but measuring that is tricky.

I always keep this quote from Emerson in my head, and I feel like my first step to finding my best way is to actually make this happen every day in my life:

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one person breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."

Here's my plan: to do the best I can every day.
To think before speaking.
To speak my feelings with humility.
To look within myself for answers before seeking another's opinion.
To expect of others what I expect of myself.
To clearly set those expectations, and accept that I cannot control the actions of others.
To be grateful for opportunities and accept them as they come.
To be reflective and conscientious.
To keep my word.

It's not about doing each of these things every day, but being careful not to do the opposite. This visualization may help me. We'll see. It's a step in a direction I hope will be positive for me.

Small steps (yet another good book by Louis Sachar).

Maybe the time I spend on the phone should be spent in a library or buried in a book instead?

Just a thought on a new course of action.

~MJ

So True

I noticed this on Twitter today. The trending topic, "HP CONQUERS ALL" caught my eye. This quote epitomizes, in 140 characters or less, my previous post about HP and my love of Stephen King.

@PotterHeadFreak "Harry Potter is about confronting fears. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend." - Stephen King. HP CONQUERS ALL.

Others of my favorite tweets in this trend included:

@12Grummauld_Pl 1,090,739 words. 3,363 pages. 199 chapters. 17 hours and 14 minutes. 8 movies. 7 books. 1 story. HP CONQUERS ALL.
@karlagt Stone? Saved it. Chamber? Discovered. Prisoner? Met him. Order? Joined. Tournament? Won. Prince? Revealed. Hallows? United. HPCONQUERS ALL.
@chelseyaccionox 7 reasons HP CONQUERS ALL. Love. Hate. Betrayal. Anger. Excitement. Fear. Hope.

I love the idea that somebody's stories can so profoundly affect the world. For years.

Thanks again, Harry.

~MJ

Songs Are Great Texts, too

Good writing is good writing is good writing.

Adding a nice sound to those words makes the experience even better.

In no particular order, here is the beginning of a series about my favorite songs...they're favorites because of the combination of words and sounds, but mostly words. These are songs with messages, abou growing up, about de-stressing, about living life, achieving dreams, and acting to make the world a better place.

"Landslide" written by Stevie Nicks

I have three versions of this song, all as beautiful as the next. It's one of the only songs I know where the covers don't sound dramatically different; the haunting similarities, in my mind, speak to just how gorgeous the song really is. Fleetwood Mac, The Dixie Chicks, and even the cast of Glee all bring this song to life for me. I hear it as a song about maturing, about growing up and struggling to be independent but also loving of others. My favorite lyrics are:"Mirror in the sky/what is love?/Can the child within my heart/rise above?/Can I sail through the changing ocean tides/Can I handle the seasons of my life?"

"All at Sea" written by Jamie Cullum

For me, this song is about escape. I always feel myself on a secluded deck of a cruise ship, in the middle of the ocean, with just the sounds of the shifting waters and winds rocking me to sleep. I have literally used this song to take a break from the world when it's stressful. My favorite lyrics are: "I'm all at sea/with no one to bother me/forgot my roots/just me and my thoughts/sailing far away...you don't need it every day/but sometimes don't you just crave/to disappear within your mind/you never know what you might find."

"My Way" written by Paul Anka
This song reminds me to live life to the fullest, to not dwell too long on the negative, and to always accept adventure. Even better, the only version I really love is performed by the one and only Frank Sinatra - and it's his song. The song accepts that regrets happen, than things don't always go as planned. But, "what's more" is that we follow through with our plans, live out every day, and keep going. I love the entirety of the song, but a combination of Sinatra's voice and passion resonates for me with these words: "Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew/When I bit off more than I could chew/but through it all, when there was doubt/I ate it up and spit it out/I faced it all and I stood tall/and did it my way." Also, I've had these times, too.

"Imagine" by John Lennon
Every  time I hear this song, I want something better for the world. That's probably why I have 8 covers of it with a combined 95 plays on my classic iPod (2006 represent). It reminds me that our world is built on social constructions, and just as easily as we created them, we can change the rules. Not everyone sees the world as I do in this sense, which makes a lot of those changes so hard. But this song gets me through those times. "You may say I'm a dreamer/but I'm not the only one/I hope someday you will join us/and the world will live as one."

"Don't Let Me Fall" by B.o.B/Bobby Ray
This song blew my mind the first time I heard it. Well, I saw the video and recognized Red Rocks and immediately became invested in it - yes, Colorado does that to me. Either way, listening to the song made this experience so much better. This is a song about investing in your dreams, keeping faith that you will reach them, and once you have, knowing how to hold on to them. It's about working hard to achieve goals and to make progress, but also to never forget what it took to get there. "Well it was just a dream/just a moment ago/I was up so high/looking down at the sky/don't let me fall.../Yeah, but for once/no one made that pavement is/cause there ain't no parachute/that they can make for  this/cause I put my pain, my heart/my soul, my faith in this/does anyone else feel how I feel?/then you can relate to this." This lyric also strikes me: "To picture my life boy/you need a higher resolution." Isn't this what we all aspire to? Working hard? Achieving dreams? Always making progress?

"Changes" by 2Pac
This song has always been in the back of my mind, but it became so real for me as I worked with my students in Tulsa. This is a song reflecting how poverty structures culture and how hard it is to overcome. It paints a picture we obviously want to change - high crime rates, drug dealing to kids, violence. It also expresses frustration about the obstacles to change - not just the struggle to change mindsets, but the lack of power, and the lack of focus on the right priorities. When I used this song as part of a lesson in my 8th grade class last year, some of my students saw the hope in this song, and others stopped at the lyrics, "That's just the way it is/some things will never change." 2Pac acknowledges all we should change and frets that we haven't made those changes.  But, despite the frustration, the core of his message is this: "We gotta make a change/it's time for us a people to start makin' some changes/let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live/and let's change the way we treat each other/you see, the old way wasn't working so it's on us to do/what we gotta do, to survive." Funny how John Lennon and 2Pac, two men who lost their lives to violence and lived in very different worlds, saw what was needed so clearly. What can we learn from them? I feel like if we can keep singing about the problems, and we know the solutions, we can work to reach them.

There will be more of these posts. I appreciate songs as much as I appreciate books.

~MJ