Who is Harris Burdick?

That awkward moment when you think something is real and all along it has been fiction. #howsilly

I had some time to kill between meetings today and happened to be in the neighborhood of Barnes and Noble. Not that I have money to spend there or anything, but alas - I went. After aimlessly wondering the shelves for 10-15 minutes and realizing I should leave soon, I started for the door. And then stopped at a table with a myriad of children's books - "The books all kids should read." Of course, Shel Silverstein was there, along with so many Caldecotts and Newberys that I couldn't process all of the shininess.

Then there stood a book called "The Chronicles of Harris Burdick." I only passively glanced at the cover and then went inside the book flap to see that this book was a collection of short stories by various authors, all of which are based on Harris Burdick's famous pictures. I went back to the cover to see the picture, but only haphazardly. In my 2nd passing glance, I confused Burdick with M.C. Escher because the cover art - remember, in passing - kind of looked like those paintings we used to talk about all the time in math class (looking at the cover now, I was really off).

But anyway, I then noticed some of my favorite authors on the cover's border and in the table of contents: Sherman Alexie, Lois Lowry, Stephen King, Walter Dean Myers, Gregory Maguire, Louis Sacher...among others! Ok, the intro by Lemony Snicket became even more enticing. Mind you, even when reading the introduction by an author with a questionable identity, I whole-heartedly believed that indeed, these authors were creatively writing about existing famous artwork.

And then I thought...this would have been amazing in my classroom!!!!

And now, sitting at home in full view of Wikipedia, Harris Burdick and his inability to write the stories he intended to go with his illustrations is all fiction. But, I found out the real author of the book published the "Burdick" art years ago in a children's book that has been used as a springboard for creative writing. The story of Burdick making all of these illustrations, giving them captions, and mysteriously disappearing before he could write any more,  has been around for years. Children have been honing their creative writing skills with Burdick's work for a long time.

Where was I?

Now, I'm debating whether I want to tear into the book - not because I'm disappointed it's fiction, but because I want to do creative writing with Burdick's art before my imagination is framed by Alexie's, King's, Myers', Lowry's, or Sachar's. I want to engage with Burdick without intervention.

But the prospect of fresh Alexie, King, Myers, Lowry, and Sachar all in one place may just be too much to pass up for an evening of relaxed reading. Or should I wait and just exercise my creative writing muscle?

That awkward moment when you have to pick a side. #suspense #anticipation

~MJ

"For as long as we have voices"

"In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it's wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices." - Elizabeth Gilbert

I usually find the greatest value in what I read why I feel it applies directly to real life. I remember picking up "Eat, Pray, Love" during naptime when I was babysitting, and had a hard time putting it down an hour later when my little friend woke up. When I left that night, I used a portion of my earnings to stop by Barnes and Noble and buy the book - and it is one of my favorites.

Mostly because of the quote above.
Mostly because on nights like these, after days like these, I am so thankful and hopeful all wrapped into one. I so clearly see the friends I have and the wonderful opportunities that surround me. I know that I want to be my best because of them, and I know that I never want to forget to be grateful. Because I wouldn't be anywhere I am today without the graciousness of others.

So, as I continue my journey, I have to continue saying thank you to those around me, and to the universe for putting them in my path. I whisper it every night as I go to sleep, and tonight, I'd rather shout it from the rooftops - I guess a blog will suffice.

I am thankful for my coworkers, who are supportive, hardworking, and who believe in me.
I am thankful for my friends --
the ones I don't talk to but once in a full moon, but it feels like we never said goodbye;
the ones who make me laugh and let me relieve stress;
the ones who call to check in just because they want to know how things are going;
the ones who call for advice because we've been through it all together, anyway;
the ones who call just to call and say hello, and to laugh;
the ones who want to eat dinner and catch up while supporting a good cause;
the ones I see in passing but they still have time for a hug...

I am also thankful for the existence of Skype, for little surprises that bring joy and giddiness.

And so with my voice, I say thank you. Thank you for stories I'll never forget and for friends I'll always have.

You sustain me.

~MJ

A Way.

You know those lyrics to "My Way," as sung by Frank Sinatra? I think my previous description was missing something.

There's a tinge of regret to the song, isn't there? The idea is that doing it "my way" made life what it was, full of achievements and failures, triumphs and regrets that, in retrospect, seem silly. But the suggestion is that "my way" was the way one went, and there seems an underlying question: was that the best way? Who did I leave behind? What didn't I do?

Clearly, there were other roads to travel: opposing or not-so-opposing choices to be had. Robert Frost didn't write about two diverging paths in the wood for no reason; every day we make choices that carve our path and define us for a lifetime.

Sometimes, those decisions aren't big ones, or very clear ones - but, the culmination of many of these can not only be defining, but hard to change. We obviously can't change where we've traveled, but it's often hard to make decisions to alter the path ahead. There is uncertainty, doubt, and a lack of clarity - we don't know that path as well, so it's hard not only to grasp what it is but how we handle it.

Is it clear by now that I'm at one of those moments in life where it seems completely necessary to stand back and try to see the bigger path picture?
To cringe at what I've done wrong, where I misstepped, and wallow in regret?
To affirm that there is a way to fix the wrongs, to alter the path ahead - all the while longing for the chance to just start over?
Remembering all the signs as clear as day -
Monday morning quarter back at its best.
To be frustrated by what others are and are not doing, saying,
To be stifled by what is out of my control.
To realize, although painfully, that the past cannot be changed
but the future may be harder to change yet.

Fortunately and unfortunately, My Way is the only way I know. Until I teach myself new ways and challenge myself to be better. I can't rely on anyone else to change my path, no matter how much I want them to guide the way. I can accept that the universe has its plan, but that I am a key player in my plan, and only I can make a difference.

Verbalizing, writing, this acceptance is one thing. Finding a way to act on this acceptance, to actually learn from it and close that gap between "my way" and the "best way," is a whole other act in and of itself. I can say I am committed to bettering myself, but measuring that is tricky.

I always keep this quote from Emerson in my head, and I feel like my first step to finding my best way is to actually make this happen every day in my life:

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one person breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."

Here's my plan: to do the best I can every day.
To think before speaking.
To speak my feelings with humility.
To look within myself for answers before seeking another's opinion.
To expect of others what I expect of myself.
To clearly set those expectations, and accept that I cannot control the actions of others.
To be grateful for opportunities and accept them as they come.
To be reflective and conscientious.
To keep my word.

It's not about doing each of these things every day, but being careful not to do the opposite. This visualization may help me. We'll see. It's a step in a direction I hope will be positive for me.

Small steps (yet another good book by Louis Sachar).

Maybe the time I spend on the phone should be spent in a library or buried in a book instead?

Just a thought on a new course of action.

~MJ